


Maybe

by jamjoon



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, bad boy Hui, music video au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-20
Updated: 2017-09-20
Packaged: 2018-12-31 18:58:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12138978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jamjoon/pseuds/jamjoon
Summary: He has a knack for trouble, but Yuto loves him anyways.





	Maybe

**Author's Note:**

> The mv made me emo

There’s not much you can do, other than nod furiously, too nervous to do anything other than wring your hands until they sweat.

It’s a metronomic pattern that’s hard on the eyes, red and blue lights flashing against the wall of a rundown Seven Eleven, until, you know, they’re not.

Keys jostle, and there’s the click of handcuffs.

“Don’t let me see you again,” the officer says, and clips the cuffs back on his belt. Hui grinds his teeth and rubs at his wrists, so Yuto answers for him.

“You won’t,” Yuto lies. “Thank you, officer.”

Hui stares at the floor. Yuto grabs him by the forearm, and yanks him to his side.

The officer looks unconvinced, but walks back to the police car anyways. Yuto watches his partner start the engine again, as the passenger door locks shut, and they drive away. Only after they turn at the streetlight, does Yuto turn to look at Hui.

His arms are crossed, teeth worrying at his lower lip. His eyes flick up to Yuto, and he snaps, “Don’t look at me like that.”

“This has to stop,” Yuto says, as calmly as he can. Shouting won’t solve anything – but god, does he want to. There’s a bruise the size of a baseball spreading down the side of Hui’s jaw, and his wrists are red ringed from the handcuffs, and Yuto can’t look too long, without his chest aching.

“I didn’t start-“

“Bullshit,” Yuto snaps. He adds, like an afterthought, “Hyung.”

Hui licks at the back of his teeth in frustration, “In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve had a day today. I really don’t need this from you right now.”  

“You’re lucky you _just_ got off with misdemeanor.” Yuto argues, “What if he found out you were the one that quarantined that park with a military grade smoke bomb?”

“We had it under control!”

“We?” Yuto snorts. “What, your _friends?_ The ones who saw the police and ran?”

“What are you, my mom?” Hui turns away, “Stop acting like I _need_ you.”

Yuto closes his eyes, just enough to breathe in, and fish for his keys.

“Get in the car before I decide to leave you.”

When he opens his eyes again, the passenger door is slamming shut.

 

~

 

He isn’t sure of the exact day he started carrying a torch for Hui, but it had to have started in highschool.

Little freshman Yuto, newly moved from Japan, novel to the culture. His Korean was sketchy at best, easy to tease, and without consequence. Yuto might be tall, but he’s never thrown a punch, because he isn’t quite sure how.

Hui obviously took pity on him – but Yuto likes to think that he was being nice. He might have been, then. He was the self-proclaimed leader of some rag-tag band of weirdos, that raced shopping carts in parking lots, and planted whoopee cushions under their teacher’s chair. They weren’t the best crowd- but they were nice to Yuto, and back then, that’s all he cared about.

That, and Hui.

There’s just something about him – something charismatic. He talks with his chin up, shoulders squared, never stuttering, an attractive, resting smile always falling on the corner of his mouth. Yuto was shy shy _shy,_ so an upperclassmen as confident as Hui was Yuto’s ideal – everything, really.

They stayed at each other’s houses on weekends. Hui patiently helped him with language studies – while Yuto tutored him in math.

 _“I hate this,”_ Hui had said, with a laugh. _“You’re younger than me – how do you know this?”_

Yuto had smiled, and shrugged one shoulder, clicking the end of his pencil against the table. He’d stay the night, and they’d wake up early enough to cook breakfast before school.

 

Those days are easy to remember, and easier to miss.

 

When Hui met Dawn, life spiraled. A dangerous kid, rocket white hair, with a firey spirit that enraptured Hui. Simple pranks turned dangerous. Tiny disputes turned into full blown fights, jacking cars, trespassing at night and drinking themselves stupid.

He hoped Hui would grow out of it – but Yuto is well into his second year in college, and Yuto just –

He misses him.

 

~

 

“So, yeah,” Hui finishes, flicking ashes into an ashtray. “I thought you might want to tag along.”

“Thanks, but no thanks.” Yuto plays with the dogear of his textbook. “Heights aren’t really my…thing.”

Hui laughs; a foot reaches out to brace against the edge of Yuto’s chair. He’s sitting on Yuto’s bed, but the stretch his far enough that the tears in his jeans stretch.  He stubs out his cigarette.

“How ironic.”

“Ha-ha,” Yuto smiles, glancing over. “Very funny.”

“Come on, it’ll be fun,” Hui stands, slinking over to drape his arms over Yuto’s shoulders. He does it so casually. “You have to get out of this apartment, Yuto-ah.”

Yuto tries not to tense when Hui rubs his nose into his hair.

“Who’s going?”

“The usual,” Hui squeezes. “You know. Shinwon, Kino, Hongseok, Dawnie.”

Yuto does actually tense this time, and he knows Hui can feel it.

“I think I agreed to hang out with Yanan that night,” Yuto shifts, flipping the page, even if he isn’t done reading it yet. “Sorry.”

He can hear the frown in Hui’s voice.

“Is it because of Dawn?”

“No,” Yuto says unconvincingly.

Hui steps away, arms crossing. “Listen, I know you don’t like him, but I really think if you got to know him, you’d change your mind.”

“I think he’s fine,” Yuto mumbles.

“No, you don’t, you’re a terrible liar.” Hui fishes for his bag, and slings it over his shoulder. “He’s my best friend, so you’re going to have to like him someday.”

There’s a hole that opens in Yuto’s chest. It pulls at his ribs, makes his lungs feel small, and he can’t help the afterthought.

_I thought I was your best friend._

“Yeah, okay,” Yuto flips another page.

Hui hesitates in the doorway, before he says, “The offer still stands. We’re meeting at the tennis courts at two a.m.”

Yuto breaks, looking over to where he hovers. Hui's faded, pink hair is parted all wrong, bottom lip red from chewing it, and for a moment, Yuto sees the Hui he knows. Shoulders squared, eyes sharp, like a hawk. Not the man who stumbled into his apartment last night drunk off his ass. 

“Okay.”

Hui smiles, and shuts the door.

 

~

 

The apartment smells like cookies, as the equivalent of Korean CSI plays on their T.V.  His roommate, Wooseok, fiddles around with the oven door.

“Please use oven mitts this time,” Yanan calls, and gets a grunt in response. Yanan turns, head propping in his hand, elbow on the kitchen table. “What, so you’re not going to go?”

 “Cliff diving, are you kidding me?” Yuto snorts. “Right, sure.”

“But you used to do all kinds of shit with them, didn’t you?” Wooseok talks from the kitchen. He fumbles with the cookies, the pan clattering against the stove.

“Yeah, but Dawn is going and…” Yuto scrubs at his hair. “I know they’re going to get in _some_ kind of trouble.”

“Cliff diving doesn’t sound _too_ illegal…” Yanan tries.

“Yeah, but trespassing is.”

“Oh.”

Yuto sighs, and presses his forehead against the table. Yanan pats his hair.

“Stop worrying. We all know Hui is perfectly capable of taking care of himself.”

“That’s not the point, I-“ Yuto looks up, then away. “I-I miss him, you know?”

There’s a still silence between Wooseok and Yanan.

“Man…” Wooseok leans up against the counter. “Maybe he’s… um.”

“Maybe Hui isn’t the person you think he is,” Yanan says, softly.

“I don’t know what he is.”

“Do you still like him?”

The question stings. Enough for Yuto to sit back up, and shift in his chair. It creaks.

“Yeah.”

“ _Why?”_ Wooseok interrupts, “He’s a jerk! You know he’s-“

“He’s _not._ Hui is kind and gentle and-“

“-and fucks off with his dipshit friends every weekend. You saved him from boarderline alcohol poisoning _twice_ last week.”

“Wooseok, stop,” Yanan interrupts. “You know Hui is going through a hard time.”

“I don’t care! He’s a bad friend. You shouldn’t like him, and you shouldn’t be treated like this,” Wooseok finishes, and Yuto feels exhausted and empty because he’s right.

But Yuto can’t help it. The idea of just – not seeing Hui anymore. It makes his head hurt, and his palms sweat, and he wants to curl up in a ball and be small forever.

“I…”

“Give him time,” Yanan tries. “He might come around.”

“He doesn’t even think of me as his best friend anymore,” Yuto pouts, and rubs one eye.

“Now that is absolutely not true.”

“It is! He said Dawn is his best friend!”

“Uh, hello, you can have multiple best friends.”

Yuto swallows the lump in his throat, and feels pathetic for it. Yanan is giving him a sympathetic smile, more patient than Yuto deserves.

“Yeah, I guess.” Yuto covers his face in his hands. “Ugh. This is so highschool.”

Wooseok grabs a plate, “Here man, have a cookie.”

Yuto gives a half-laugh, and picks one off the plate.

“Thanks.”

 

~

 

His phone digs at two a.m.

 

_> You coming? _

Yuto stares at his phone. Rubs his thumb along the edge, and taps it anxiously. It takes him a minute to type

 

_No < _

 

~

 

Just when he thinks he’s free. When he’s over it – when the heartache is no longer a crippling burn, but a resounding throb – it comes back tenfold, in tiny moments, like this.

In all honesty, Hui’s friends aren’t _bad._ Yuto has known them since highschool, after all. So of course he’s still invited over for videogames and pizza, and of course, Yuto goes.

It’s not that he hates them. It’s really not. He hates what they _do._ He hates when Hui knocks at his door in the late hours, knuckles bleeding, swaying on his feet. He hates watching Hui’s grades slip through his fingers. Hates watching what he does to himself.

They’re smoking – and even Yuto isn’t _that_ much of a prude – so he takes a hit when the blunt slides his way. Hui is staring at him, high as a kite, an arm slung over the back of the couch, one leg crossed over the other, and Yuto thinks fuck, _fuck._ Because he’s absolutely gorgeous, and he’s staring at Yuto like a he’s a meal.  

Kino and Shinwon are shouting at each other. Or the T.V. Probably both, but their split screen both shows _Game Over,_ and oh, yeah, now they’re definitely yelling at each other.

A voice comes from the left, and suddenly an arm is slung over his shoulder.

“Hey, lookit’ this,” E’Dawn grins, jostling Yuto’s neck. “The babys’ finally drinking like the big boys.”

Yuto looks down to his beer, then back up to E’Dawn. He raises an eyebrow, “You think this is my first?”

“First around me.”

“I’m a casual drinker, not a chronic alcoholic like some people.”

Hui snorts from across the couch, and E’Dawn’s smile falters, before shoving it back in place. He grips a little too hard, “Hey, I heard you don’t like me.”

“You’re not my favorite,” Yuto says honestly, and oh, he might not be sober.

E’Dawn grins, “I’ll make you like me.” He leans in, way too close, and his breath smells rank. “I mean, you showed up here. That’s a start.”

Yuto feels a brief spike of panic – and it’s all mixed signals, different nerves getting lost from his brain to his hands, because this is the guy he really kinda’ sorta’ can’t stand, because, you know, he’s taken his best friend out from under his hands and turned him into a douche – but he’s also…strangely attractive…

“Alright, that’s enough,” Hui says, pulling on the back of E’Dawn’s collar, and yanking back before he can kiss him. Dawn makes a choked noise, and Hui slips in the newly open spot between them, replacing E’Dawn’s arm with his own. Yuto hates how much his body naturally relaxes.

“What’cha got there?”

“Abita,” Yuto hands it over, and Hui takes a sip.

“Igh,” he cringes, and hands it back. “Cream soda.”

“Too sweet?”

“Yeah,” Hui shifts. “Where were you last week?”

“I told you, Yanan came over,” Yuto sips.

Hui looks at him out of the corner of his eye.

“Right.”

Kino waves, “Hyung, come play.”

“I’m good, thanks.”

“Hey, last week, when we were asking for directions from that old guy,” Hongseok kicks up his feet, “did you overhear that couple?”

“Uh, no?”

“I heard.” Dawn nods, with a grin, “They were talking about the old ‘Spokes lighthouse.”

“Oooh, I’ve heard about that,” Shinwon turns. “Isn’t it supposed to be haunted?”

Yuto stiffens.

Hui tightens his arm and squeezes, “Haunted? Really?”

“You don’t know?” Hongseok smiles, “Apparently it was run by a married couple a hundred years ago. The husband was a cheater, and the wife found out. Took him up there and pushed him right off.”

“Half true,” E’Dawn interrupts. “She hung herself right after.”

“Jesus,” Yuto whispers.

“We should go tag it,” Kino grins. “Nobody goes there anymore, yeah?”

“No. The police tied it off, ‘cause it’s falling apart.”

“I’ve never been in a lighthouse before…” Hui hums.

“Uh,” Yuto leans away, until Hui pulls his arm back. “Government property? Broken down? Haunted? Which of those things scream _good idea_ to you? _”_

“Don’t be a fuckin’ nark, Fruit Yuts,” Dawn cracks open a bottle, and it fuzzes a little, dripping over his hand. “Can’t you live a little?”

“No,” Yuto deadpans. He looks to Hui, “You’re not seriously considering this, are you?”

Hui shrugs, “Why not? We’re not doing anything else tonight, are we?”

“I can drive,” Shinwon raises a hand. “I haven’t had that much.”

“Shinwon, you’re high.”

“I can drive high!”

“This is a bad idea.”

“Come on,” Dawn hunts around for his keys. “If we wait too long, we might miss the ghosts.” 

Good god, he’s not dealing with this tonight. Yuto sets his beer on the coffee table, and makes to stand up.

“Well, I’ve got to go. It was nice seeing you guys-“

There’s a chorus of groans.

“Oh come _on.”_

“You bail _every_ time.”

“Yeah, sorry,” Yuto replies, with distain, “I’m not a huge fan of trespassing.”

Dawn snorts, “You’re such a fuckin’ wuss.”

 “Sure, a wuss who doesn’t want to lose their 20k scholarship,” Yuto brushes off Kino’s hand, as he tries to tug him back from his spot on the floor.

He sees Hui flinch. They actually had the same scholarship, up until last year. Yuto almost feels guilty for bringing that up, until Dawn gives a look to Hui, and Hui’s face hardens.

“Yuto, you’re being stupid.”

Oh really? _He’s_ being stupid?

“Kay, bye,” Yuto deadpans, fishing his phone out of his pocket and throwing open the front door. He shuts it softly with a click, and begins to walk down the driveway, when he hears it thrown open.

Hui stumbles out of it, the door slamming behind him.

“You never stay!”

Yuto turns on his heel and scowls, “But I _did._ Don’t you remember the last time?”

Hui’s face crumples, “That was-“

“I carried you half a mile back to the car, because you broke your foot, and your friends-“ he gestures to the door “-ran as soon as the cops showed.”

“That was a one-time thing,” Hui shifts.

Yuto snorts, with a fake smile, “Right. Maybe you should learn to run faster.”

“Please don’t go,” Hui tries, a little softer this time. “I really – I haven’t seen you all week…I miss hanging out with you.

“Then _hang out_ with me. I’m so tired of, of watching you -  ” Yuto makes an annoyed noise as he tries to think of the word, and translates it to, “- destroy yourself. Like this.”

“It’s just fun,” Hui crosses his arms. “You told me to do what makes me happy.”

 _“Within reason –_ god, I just- “ Yuto runs a hand through his hair. “You know? Lets not do this. I’ll see you later.”

“Yuto don’t-

“Be a wuss? I will. Have fun,” Yuto waves, as he walks away. “Don’t get caught.”

When he turns the corner, he rubs at his eyes and swallows.

 

~

 

_> Yuto _

_> Yuto please don’t be mad_

~

 

It’s hard to focus in class the next day.

He’s not hungover, but his vision keeps blurring, and he zones out every so often. He’s had less sleep – that’s nothing new – but he never texted Hui back last night, and he _almost_ feels guilty about it. He didn’t hear how the rest of their evening went, and he almost doesn’t want to know.

Kino doesn’t show up to class, and it makes Yuto nervous. He drums his fingers against the desk anxiously, his professor's words nothing but white noise, sloshy and liquid in his ears.

He meets up with Yanan after class. Their schedules suck ass, an entire three hour break between classes, but they’ve developed a routine of getting pastries and working on homework, tucked in the left corner booth of a Coffee Bean.

“So you didn’t stay?” Yanan sips.

Yuto sighs, and shuts his laptop. “I refused.”

“Good for you,” Yanan nods.

“Hey boys,” Jinho appears, just as Yuto’s phone starts to ring. It’s an unknown number, so he silences it immediately.

“Hey Hyung,” Yanan smiles. “You on break?”

Jinho slides into the booth, tugging at his apron, “Yeah. Rush hour is over, thank god.”

“How’re classes treating you?” Yuto offers him his bagel, and Jinho takes a bite right out of his hand.

“Mnm, mkay,” Jinho chews, “I graduate in two months, so the senioritis is really kickin’ me.”

“I bet.”

Yuto leans a little, to look over Jinho’s shoulder, to the cash register. He turns back to Jinho, “Hyung, did Hongseok show up today?”

“Hm?” Jinho blinks. “Oh, no. Weirdly enough, his mom called in for him.”

“Can parents do that?”

“If there’s an emergency, I guess. I didn’t really think twice about it.”

Yuto swallows. Nervousness creeps with a vice grip, and Yuto feels his heart squeeze.

Yanan continues to talk, “I’m not too surprised. He’s a momma’s boy-“

Yuto picks up his phone, and texts Hui beneath the table.

 

_Hey, did you guys make it back okay? <_

He sets his phone aside, when Jinho begins to giggle, and nearly jams his knee on the table.

“That’s what I thought! But honestly, being manager isn’t too bad. They have good benefits.”

“Don’t get too comfortable. You’re trying to be a singer, aren’t you?”

“I can side hustle,” Jinho winks.

“Weren’t you uh, supposed to graduate with Hui?” Yuto stirs his straw in his drink.

“Yeah…” Jinho rubs at his head, “He had to retake some classes, you know. I don’t think he’s that far behind.”

Yuto looks down to his phone periodically, checking for a reply.

 

_~_

 

_“La ironía le va más bien a la gente inteligente, pero la mala educación no la soporto en mi-“_

“What’d I miss?” Wooseok jumps back on the couch, kicking his feet into Yuto’s lap. Yuto holds up his bowl of popcorn, until Wooseok’s feet settle. He sets the bowl back down.

“Uhh…Not sure. I think the daughter threw a hissyfit and the step mom broke her…mirror?”

Wooseok tsks, “Seven years bad luck.”

“I can’t tell what’s worse. Korean dramas or Spanish soap operas,” Yuto chews.

“Easy. Japanese anime adaptations.”

“You take that back,” Yuto snaps, but breaks into a laugh.

There’s a hard, repetitive knock at their door. It startles Yuto enough that some of the popcorn spills on the floor.

“Not it,” Wooseok says, unaffected. Yuto huffs, and sets the bowl on Wooseok’s chest, pushing his feet off his lap. The knocking picks up, louder this time, and Yuto calls.

“I’m coming, I’m coming-“ he opens the door.  

“Yuto!” Shinwon shouts.

Yuto jumps, “Shinwon?”

“I’ve been calling you all night! Where’s your phone?” He looks shaky and exhausted, eyes sunken into his face. Yuto pats around for it in his pockets.

“Uhh, in the other room, why? Are you okay?”

“ _I’m_ okay, but Kino is in the hospital.”

“ _What?_ Oh my god-“

“Also Hongseok, Dawn and Hui spent the night in holding.”

“In _jail?_ ” Yuto blanches.

“Yeah, fuck,” Shinwon rubs a hand through his hair. “It all got so out of control. Hongseok’s parents bailed him out, and apparently Dawn knew a guy, but Hui, you know he- he doesn’t have anyone, he’s still there-“  

Yuto thinks of the unknown number and bites, _“Shit.”_

“I got the keys,” Wooseok calls, and Yuto catches them with one hand.

 

“ _Which station?”_

 

~

 

It takes too long to fill out all the paperwork. There’s a lady in the waiting room who smells like the inside of a shoe, and there’s a screaming baby across from him, making it way too difficult to read the fine print. He scrabbles quickly, the clipboard braced against his knee.

 

The cop disappears, and the wait feels like an eternity. Only five minutes pass until the deadbolt door unlocks with a mechanical hiss, and Yuto’s stomach twists. Hui is in cuffs, one eye swollen, the hems of his jeans dried in mud, while his not-so-white button down is hardly on one shoulder. Yuto doesn’t know what to feel. Numb, really. A cup full of too many rattling sentiments.

Hui is staring at the floor. The cop uncuffs him.

 _“_ You’re free to go.”

Hui’s eyes snap up in surprise, to the door, to the cop, to Yuto- and his jaw drops with his hands.

“ _Yuto?!”_

Yuto wants to say too much. Instead his tongue dries to his teeth, and his heart rattles against his ribcage.

He settles on, “Let’s go.”

“Y-Yuto, how, what-“ Hui steps away from the cop, and stares back as the policewoman retreats past the deadbolted door. “You, how did you?- My bail-“

“I’ve now got a whopping twenty-three dollars in my bank account,” Yuto turns, hands in pockets, and fishes for the car keys. “Let’s hope there’s thirty-two ways to make ramen, because that’s all I’m eating this month.”

“No-“ Hui croaks following him out of the police station. The door slams behind him, “Yuto I-“

“You know? I really, _really_ don’t want to hear it.” Yuto doesn’t turn. He feels Deja vu. “I’m real close to making you walk home.”

He hears Hui inhale, “I- I didn’t _ask_ you to bail me out.”

Yuto turns on his heel and snaps,  “But you called me, didn’t you?” Hui looks away. Yuto sags his shoulders, and runs a hand through his hair. “God, Hui. This has to stop.”

Hui grits his teeth and snaps,  “Things got out of hand. I’ll pay you back. It’s fine.”

“It’s _not_ fine.” Yuto snaps, hot and cold and thorns bubbling up his throat, scratching it from the inside out. “I don’t care about the fucking money, Hwitaek.”

Hui’s eyes jolt to him, back shocking straight. Yuto fights the urge to angry cry.

“I can’t do this anymore. I love you, Hui, really. And I’m so sorry for what happened to your parents - but I can’t watch you do this to yourself.” Yuto rubs at his eyes with the heel of his hand, biting hard on his tongue when his eyes water. “I don’t even know you anymore.”

Hui goes rigid. They’re still on the station porch, a stagnant cop car eerily quiet in the driveway. The lights from the police station feel like a spotlight.

Hui looks small, and it makes Yuto feel cold. Way too tall in his shoes. Hui’s shoulders are slumped, a hand coming up to numbly trace the swollen circle of his left eye.

“You love me?” Hui manages.

Yuto gives up. He throws his arms out, tone dripping with emotion that he tries to keep away.

“Yeah. If you haven’t fucking noticed by now.”

“You-“

“But I’m done,” Yuto shakes his head. “This is the last time.”

Hui seems struck dumb. Yuto fights the embarrassment by clicking the lights to his car, and silently gesturing to the passenger side. Hui gets in without a word.

 

~

 

It feels like heartbreak. Maybe it is.

Not seeing Hui on the regular is like an attempt at sobriety. He wants to see him. To lean on his shoulder during movie nights and share breakfast and hear him laugh like he _used to._

But Yuto has to do this. For his own sake. He feels guilty and gross and sad and angry and _too much,_ it’s too much, because he’s still really, really in love with him, so Yuto drinks his own poison, and lives with the consequences.

 

Wooseok takes pity on him after his sixth top-ramen meal this week, and buys him a meal on Thursday.

Hui hasn’t texted him. Hasn’t called. Not that Yuto is expecting one, but now he _knows,_ and, well. Life just doesn’t work the way you want it to.

“It’ll be okay,” Yanan says, with a pat to the head. “You’ll find someone else.”

 

 

~

 

_“That doesn’t make any sense,” Hui laughs._

_Yuto pulls out the lollipop from between his lips to smile, “It doesn’t need to.”_

_“Yes it does! It’s like the Batman versus superman question – if Batman can win with prep time, Lelouch can win with prep time.”_

_“But Goku is- well, Goku!” Yuto argues, laughing anyways. “He’ll Kamehameha right through his head, ten seconds flat.”_

_“But take into the account that Goku is a puss,”  Hui kicks, and his shoe barely brushes sand. “He let the equivalent of Space Hitler live because he felt bad. Lelouch has no hangups blasting a hole in his face.”_

_Yuto giggles, “This is by far the worst conversation we’ve ever had.”_

_“Shut up-“ Hui pushes him, and Yuto falls the short distance off the brick wall. He lands in the sand, turns around to stick out his tongue, but gasps when he realizes his lollipop has fallen to the ground. “You fuck! My lollipop!”_

_“Wash it off in the ocean,” Hui smirks;  Yuto pulls on his leg, and laughs when he tumbles into the sand._

_“Nerd.”_

_“Dickhead.”_

_Yuto sits next to him in the sand, and doesn’t mind ruining his jeans. Hui pulls off one of his shoes, and pours out the sand with a slight frown._

_It's partly cloudy- but this beach is residential, so it's peaceful._

_“I’m going to miss you,” Yuto says eventually._

_Hui softens. He throws an arm around Yuto’s shoulders, and pulls him until their arms are squished together._

_“I wont be that far. You know I’ll visit.”_

_“Yeah…”_

_“And think about it,” Hui smiles. “It’s only two years. Then you’ll be right there with me.” He laughs, “Little college Yuto.”_

_“Shut up,” Yuto laughs, but rests his head on Hui’s shoulder. Hui squeezes him – holds him close, and Yuto focuses on the distant pull of the ocean._

_“I’ll miss you too.”_

 

_~_

 

There’s an envelope shoved into his hands. It’s thick, barely sealed, and Yuto only has to squeeze it, before immediately pushing it back into Hui’s chest.  

“I’m sorry-“ Hui blurts, “Nonono _no- wait-_ “

"I don't want your money."

Yuto tries to shut it, but Hui lodges his shoe in the doorway, and he’s wearing boots, so they don’t budge. Yuto looks up, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call.” Hui grips the doorway, so that Yuto would feel bad about slamming his fingers in the doorhinge. “I’m sorry you had to bail me out of jail. I’m sorry I never noticed your feelings-“

“That’s enough.”

“I’m sorry I fucked around and got hurt. I’m sorry I never listened to you, I’m sorry-“

“So what’s changed?” Yuto asks, with no venom, really. Just curiosity. He crosses his arms, and lets the doorway open fully. Hui is wearing these old, torn jeans, and a band-tee that they got together, last year at a concert.

“I’m trying to get my head straight,” Hui sighs. “I’m…you- you were right, about all the misplaced feelings of my parents. I don’t really know what I’m doing but I – I always knew you’d be there to catch me, you know?” He laughs dryly, “A hyung taking advantage of their dongsaeng. It’s pathetic, and I owe you a serious apology.”

“That’s what friends do, isn’t it?” Yuto shrugs. “I only ever wanted what was best for you, you know.”

“But that doesn’t make it okay.” Hui shifts, running his lip through his teeth as he decides on his words. “I took advantage of you.”

Yuto doesn’t say anything. Hui continues, slowly.

“I liked you. Like. You. And I liked when you took care of me. I liked when you got jealous over Hyojong, and I liked when you tried to protect me.”

Anger flares in his chest, and Yuto opens his mouth to yell something terrible, but Hui starts to tear up, and the grip on his heart turns to ash.

“I’m despicable,” Hui whispers.

Some things click into place. 

Yuto closes his eyes, and tips his head against the door frame. He opens his eyes to say, “This is a mess.”

Hui bites his lip. Grinds his teeth. Squares his shoulders, tips up his chin and looks Yuto right in the eye- like he’s determined something, right then and there, and the sheen in his eyes scream  _HUI, Hui, Hui-_ so much so that Yuto is stunned silent.

“I’m going to be someone worthy of you,” Hui decides. His fingers curl into fists, before they uncurl just as quickly. “I promise, Yuto.”

He steps back, as Yuto stares, dumbfounded. Hui points, “Wait for me.”

Hui’s boots retreat back down the hall. Yuto stares. Stares and stares, and just as the distant sound of the stairway door creaks open, Yuto thinks _you know what? –_ and slams his own door shut, striding after Hui with an almost jog. Hui turns on his heel and has enough time to start saying something before Yuto has shoved him against the wall, and leaned down to his eyelevel.

“I won’t,” Yuto says, and kisses him.

He doesn’t know what he’s doing. It’s a horrible idea. Probably one of his worst. But Yuto wants to be selfish this time. Maybe he has been, all this time. Maybe _he’s_ the one who got satisfaction out of piecing Hui back together. Maybe he was the one taking advantage. Who cares anymore.

He’s a little flattered by how quickly Hui kisses back. Fingers brace up by his cheeks, and Hui leans on his toes, so the kiss feels harder, _real,_ something more than a nervous press. Yuto grips his shoulder and squeezes, lips feeling tingly and ethereal, with how passionately Hui kisses back.

He’s soft – until the fingers at his cheek grip into his hair, and Hui shoves his tongue into his mouth, and the power shifts, Yuto suddenly scrambling to keep up. Hui only uses the wall for leverage, and Yuto gets swept along.

Yuto manages a still, barely, “No more fighting,” against his lips.

Hui hums.

“No mmm- more trespassing.”

Hui hums again.

“You-“ Yuto chokes, face heating when Hui leans up enough to slip his lips along the corner of his mouth, and down his cheek, “-you get help, okay?”

“Okay,” Hui says, and his fingers shake a little. “Nevermind. Don’t wait for me. I really love you.”

Yuto pulls him into a hug, because it’s what he needs. It’s what Hui needs too.

An envelope is slipped into his back pocket. Yuto laughs into Hui’s shoulder.

Maybe he’s bad for him. Maybe Yuto drinks his own poison, and likes it black this way.

 

~

 

They don’t keep wine in their fridge anymore. It was only ever a casual thing – but Yuto doesn’t risk the temptation.

Hui sleeps on their couch, sometimes, when they’ve been up studying way too late to make the walk home. It starts with the couch, then the floor, then Yuto’s bed, because what the _fuck Hui, why are you on the floor? –_

It’s not the biggest bed, but Hui likes being the big spoon, and Yuto likes feeling small. More often than not he wakes up with Hui on his chest, hair tickling his nose, and it’s okay. It’ll be okay.

“This is my impulse control,” Hui declares proudly, wherever they go. “Oh, and my boyfriend.”

It’s not that Yuto doesn’t have problems. He stays up way too late overthinking every dumb thing he’s ever said, and he chews his nails when he’s anxious, and sometimes he gets _so_ caught up in school, that he forgets to text anyone back – and if it wasn’t for Wooseok, his friends would think he’s dead to the world.

Hui takes time and patience – but returns it tenfold. Yuto doesn’t want to _change_ Hui; all Yuto ever wanted was for Hui to see himself the way Yuto always did. Talented and clever and strong, and he _is,_ so he’ll get there.

The breeze is gentle today, but picks up every so often, jostling their hair. The leaves are already falling, and it makes a mess of the grass.

“You know…” Hui says, after a long time. “I never visited after the funeral. Not even once.”

Yuto lets out a breath, and slips his hand into Hui’s back pocket. Hui leans against his shoulder. The two graves are side by side, no tombstone, but a plate embedded into the ground.

“I did,” Yuto says. Hui jolts in his arms, head snapping to look up at Yuto.

“You did?”

“Once,” Yuto nods. “I asked them to take care of you, from the afterlife.”

Hui swallows, and turns to look down at the ground. An arm slips around Yuto’s waist, fingers gently twisting in his shirt.

“Thank you,” he says, eventually.

Yuto kisses the top of his head, “Don’t feel bad.”

Hui sucks in a breath, and summons a smile. He pats Yuto on the hip, and turns around, out of his arms.

“Let’s go eat.”

 

~

 

Yuto hasn’t seen Dawn since the night at his apartment, and even now, that feels like ages ago. It’s jarring when he’s pattering around the grocery store, basket hooked over his arm, and a hand tugs on his shirt sleeve.

He turns, in surprise, and E’Dawn is there, baseball hat pulled over his eyes, free hand shoved in his pocket. He tips up his hat, and looks Yuto in the eye.

“Oh,” Yuto blinks. “Uh. Hi.”

“Hi,” Dawn shuffles. “Um…”

He looks uneasy, and Yuto detests awkward silences, so he says, “I haven’t seen you in a while. Not that I uh, ever saw you a lot to begin with, but-“

“I wanted to apologize,” E’Dawn interrupts. “Things haven’t been right since…and…well. A lot of it was my fault and-“

“Okay.”

“-none of this would’ve happened if I didn’t – wait, what?”

“I forgive you,” Yuto shrugs one shoulder and turns back to the shelf, thumbing through different brands of pickles.

Dawn is silent, for a moment, but blinks, “I had a lot more to say.”

“Save it,” Yuto puts the jar in his basket, and turns back around. “Hui misses hanging out with you.”

“He…he does?”

“Yeah.”

“Even though I left him in jail?”

“He’s a good guy.” Yuto arches an eyebrow, “Are you?”

Dawn shifts on his feet, “I want to be…”

“Then join the club,” Yuto laughs, and slaps his shoulder with his free hand. “I’m over what happened.”

He gets halfway down the aisle before Dawn jogs back up to him.

“You’re dating, right?” He calls.

Yuto stops, and turns. But Dawn smiles, a little goofy, and says, hands in pockets.

“You’re good for him.”

Yuto bites his lip, and it turns into a smile.

 

~

 

He really likes when Hui sits in his lap. He straddles it, this time, and he may be smaller, but he always holds himself like he’s the tallest in the room.

“-and Kino was really struggling with Nutrition, but he’s been working with Yanan- and, did you know Yanan was really good at that stuff? Apparently he is.” Hui kisses down Yuto's throat, inbetween words, “Anyways, Kino has a C right now, I’m real proud-“

Yuto laughs, hands happily situated on Hui’s outer thighs. “You’ve become a little mother hen.”

“I was thinking of throwing a party.”

Yuto raises an eyebrow.

“Nothing too bad,” Hui kisses his ear, and Yuto shivers. “I think Shinwon would really like Wooseok, if they met. We can invite Yeo One too.”

“Jinho would be sad if we left him out,” Yuto squeezes.

“Yeah, yeah, Jinho too. Did you know he started dating Hongseok?”

“No kidding?”

“Yeah.”

“My apartment can’t hold ten people,” Yuto says, looking up and over Hui’s shoulder. There’s a mess in the kitchen, right where Wooseok left it, before he ran to class.

“Sure it can!” Hui licks under his jaw, and Yuto bites down a groan. “It’ll be snug.”

“Dawn coming?”

“Yeah,” Hui sits back a little, and Yuto takes advantage of that, buttoning down his shirt. “He’s passing three of his four classes right now.”

“That’s good?”

“For him,” Hui grins, and wiggles close enough to kiss. Yuto tips his head happily, welcoming his tongue when it slides past his lips. Hui runs hot, which is nice, because Yuto’s hands are always cold. He buries his fingers under Hui’s waistband, and purrs happily when his lower back is warm.

Hui bites his lip and Yuto lets him.

“Ahh, you’re fucking sexy,” Hui mumbles; he pulls back just enough to push Yuto’s bangs out of his face.

“Th-thanks?”

“Have I told you how great your body is?” He hums, kissing Yuto like an afterthought, hand sliding flat down Yuto’s stomach.

“Maybe,” Yuto teases, and secures a hand behind Hui’s head so he’ll _stay still._ Hui hums against his lips and Yuto echoes the noise right back. He feels tingly where they’re touching, eyes closing when Hui slips off his lap, and between his legs.

 

 

~

 

“Thanks, man.”

“No problem,” Yeo One smiles, refilling their water. “But honestly, tell me, is this really a date?”

“Yeah, why?” Hui sips.

“Because,” Yeo One snorts, “you guys used to come here every week. That’s like going on a date to the school yard.”

“We can take our business elsewhere,” Yuto teases.

“Nooo,” Hui whines, “they have the best crepes here.”

“I’m _saying_ you should do something cool. Like, go on a hike. Or skydive.” Yeo One shifts, picking up the tab off a nearby table.

“Oooh!” Hui perks up, but Yuto snorts, “Oh, right. It’ll be so romantic when I shit my pants from twelve-thousand feet.”

“I’ll still love you,” Hui teases, and Yuto laughs against the back of his hand.

Yeo One rolls his eyes, “Boring.”

“I’m okay with boring,” Hui says seriously, and nudges his foot under the table.

Yuto taps him back, and Yeo One barks _“If you play footsie under my table, I’m kicking you both out.”_

 

~ 

 

The party continues inside, the T.V. raging, laughing and the occasional click of a glass against the coffee table – but Yuto wandered out to the balcony, partially because the room is _hot –_ and he’s overwhelmed with the noise. It’s not bad. He feels fuzzy. A good fuzzy.

Hui finds him five minutes later, and slides next to him on the bench. He’s in a tank top, so Yuto wraps an arm around him, and rubs the goosebumps away.

They have a partial view of the city. There’s a freeway packed with traffic way down below, and a few high rises that block part of the moonlight. The lights are nice to look at anyways.

Hui’s hand settles on his knee, and Yuto lets it stay there, even if he’s a little ticklish.

“How long have you liked me?” Hui asks.

“I’ve always liked you,” Yuto answers, easy.

Hui elbows him gently. “You know what I mean.”

“Freshman year,” he says. “Why?”

“Shinwon asked me, and I didn’t know.”

“I thought it was obvious.”

“I thought _I_ was obvious.”

Yuto looks down at him, a half smile tugging at his lips, “And you?”

“My senior year. You were the cutest little sophomore,” Hui sighs.

“Wasn’t I taller than you?”

“We don’t need the details, Yuto.”

Yuto laughs, but cuts short when the glass door slides open.

“Hey!” Wooseok waves. “We’re playing Bubble Rubble Kumbaya.”

“What’s that?”

“I don’t know, but I’m ready to find the fuck out.” The door slides shut, and Yuto breathes out a laugh through his nose, as he looks to Hui.

“Sounds fun,” Hui smiles.

Yuto finds himself staring, before he can stop. Hui looks stunning, as usual, but even more-so without any recent bruises. The dark circles under his eyes aren’t so black, and his lips aren’t so chapped – he tucks a strand of hair behind his ear, and Yuto blinks.

Hui tips his head just enough to kiss him. Nothing passionate or sticky – just a soft press, before he leans back.

“Let’s go.”


End file.
